New moms aren't the only ones who suffer from FOMO (fear of missing out). It happens when your kids are any age and isn't exclusive to only having one child. But it can be particularly rough as a breastfeeding or pumping mama. Here are some tips to manage FOMO - especially during the holiday season.
Set Realistic Expectations
Maybe you are (or will be) one of those moms at the mall pushing around a 2 week-old and sipping on your iced coffee like squeezing that baby out wasn't more than a trip to the post office. But if you're like the rest of us, give yourself a break in a major way. Maybe the biggest break you've ever given yourself.
Don't set goals you can't keep. RSVPing to every holiday party this year may not be an option. Hosting your favorite relatives while cooking, cleaning, adhering to nap schedules, breastfeeding, coordinating matching outfits, and hosting a touch-football game in the backyard, all while getting family photos done? Probably not.
Instead of planning what you want to happen, set one or two attainable goals. If you don't set the bar too high, you're more likely to be pleasantly surprised instead of hurt or longing for something that isn't within reach. And for the love of mistletoe, don't compare yourself to other people, especially other moms. It is never as easy as it looks. For anyone.
Don't Pump or Breastfeed Alone
Ask a relative or friend to hang out with you when nursing. Breastfeeding sessions can take a while. It's a great opportunity for you to get some quality one-on-one time with a relative. If you feel comfortable doing so, breastfeed or pump around your family. You can use a soft blanket or nursing cover if you choose and you won't miss a thing! Sick of hearing Aunt Kathy's story about the fruitcake again? Perfect excuse to grab a pal, your breast pump (or baby), and head to a private area to “pump” and have some catch-up time. Freeze your milk stash if you get a little extra!
Don't Strive For Perfection
Itching to have a holiday party at your house but can't seem to keep up with the laundry? Don't let the illusion of picture perfection prevent you from getting out there, if that's what you want to do.
Want to host a dinner party but not up for it physically? Try a potluck style instead and have everyone bring their favorite dish. Skip the professional portraits this year and just make sure to have plenty of friends and family members snap a photo throughout the holidays. Postpartum recovery garments can also help slim you and make you feel more comfortable.
Connect
Create new connections with other moms. After your first child, you may have no idea what you're doing or feel isolated in your new role. Using social media to connect to acquaintances who have kids is a great place to start. Don't be afraid to ask questions, even personal ones. Modesty oftentimes is an afterthought when it comes to the incredible humility and support other women show when relating to pregnancy and motherhood challenges.
Look for mom groups or start your own if you don't find one that suits you. There are an abundance of online breastfeeding support groups as well as lifestyle groups for you and/or baby. It's hard to feel left out if you're surrounded by other women in the same stage of life as you, and texting with another person who's in the thick of it all is about as validating as it comes.
